Monday, July 09, 2007

A Few Funny Jokes from one of my friends at My Space

Post Turtle
Suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old California rancher, whose
hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a
conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Nancy Pelosi and her elevation to
speaker of the house. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Nancy
is a post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post
turtle' was. The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country
road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top,
that's a post turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he
doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help
the Dumb Animal Get Down"

Injured US Marine
A U.S. Marine squad was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came
upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite
side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious
state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both
men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the
highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each
other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to
him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable lowlife, and he yelled back that
Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk."

"So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, ugly,
mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does
Hillary Clinton!"

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a
truck hit us.

JUST IN: 2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda

7:00 pm Opening flag burning

7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9.00 pm Memorial service for Saddam and his sons – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand

11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn

11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean

12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home

And check out this at Michelle Malkin's site about a shooting of an airman from McGuire Air Force Base that has no rhyme or reason.

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