Thursday, September 11, 2014

NFL Week 2 Kickoff

by JASmius



It's been almost nine years, but we still don't like the Pittsburgh Steelers very much here in Lombardi country (and I don't mean Wisconsin - that's future post-coup POTUS country, if you know what I mean).  Which made it such a hilarious collapse that they almost pulled off at home against the most hapless franchise in the NFL, the Cleveland Browns, so dubbed because at least the Oakland Faiders have been around long enough to have a dynasty, even if I was in grade school at the time, and at least the latter are finally starting to improve, even if it is at the pace of a molasses-engulfed glacier.

Meanwhile, the Ravens almost inflicted an epic come-from-ahead el foldo on the Cincinnati Bengals at M&T Bank Stadium until back-to-back late-fourth quarter mutual long bombs slipped the defending AFC North champs the upset win.  Coming on the heels of that setback was the video of starting running back and now-ex-Raven Ray Rice KOing his wife in a hotel elevator, resulting in his ex-communication from the team and the league.  Which, in football terms, isn't going to do one-time Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco any favors, as without Rice he and his aching frame were forced into 62 pass attempts against what was, last year, the 3rd-ranked defense in the NFL (amazing that hardly anybody remembers that, huh?  That's what Andy Dalton's playoff ineptitude will do for you).  And yet it was their pass defense that let the Ravens down when they really needed a stop.

Meaning that tonight, the Ravens REALLY need a stop.  0-2 teams rarely go on to make the playoffs, and that's without (1) suddenly losing most of their running game and (2) losing their first two at home, against division rivals.  In my august-but-humble opinion, forged by over four decades of NFL fandom, urgency will be enough to overcome a team that had to scramble at the finish to sphincter off the Brown(s),  I'm taking the favored Ravens to win and (just barely) cover.

Pittsburgh
Baltimore*  -3.5

See?  I can so get through an entire Ravens-related post without swerving into another rant as to how pro sports leagues don't know how to read a map, which, if they could, would prompt them to move Baltimore to the AFC East, Miami to the AFC South, and Indianapolis to the AFC North.  Or mentioning that the Ravens are the REAL Browns, which is why Steelers-Ravens is a rivalry at all, and that they had to leave Cleveland in order to win a Super Bowl.  Kinda like why Lebron James went to Miami.  They don't call it "the mistake by the lake" for nothing.

Isn't my self-restraint magnificent?

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