Can the possibility of eight members of the Iranian women's soccer team having penises be called a palate cleanser if the very notion inspires projectile nausea? And is the Iranian women's soccer team really that bad, or do the mullahs simply feel compelled - sorry, "commanded by Allah" - to cheat at absolutely everything?:
Eight members of Iran's women's soccer team are actually men, Iranian news website Young Journalists Club reports.
And trust me, folks, they will remain that way no matter how they have themselves mutilated.
The eight players, who have not been named, "have been playing with Iran’s female team without completing sex change operations," Mojtabi Sharifi told the site, according to the Telegraph.
Which change nothing, as gender is genetic, not cosmetic.
It is not the first time the team has been the subject of controversy. Iran's governing body for the sport introduced random checks in 2014 when it was learned that four players on the national team either were men.... or suffered from sexual development disorders.
In 2010, questions were raised about whether the goalkeeper was really a woman.
Although (he? she?) was a highly effective goalie either way.....
When gravitational lensing starts coming into the equation, your team is not going to give up very many goals.
So I can only conclude that Tehran wants to relentlessly run up the score at every opportunity. Just like they did on Barack Obama's nuclear sellout. Which is, actually, very symbolic, because I would suggest that even the clitorectomized women on the Iranian women's soccer team have stouter and thicker manhood than The One ever will.
Exit question: What do Iranian opponents call an attack on the Iranian goal? "Standard orbit"?