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Saturday, December 26, 2015

NFL Week 16 Saturday

by JASmius



At last it has arrived, my friends, the game we've all been waiting for: loser goes home for New Year's, the winner gains the right and privilege of getting butchered by the #1-ranked Seahawks in the Wild Card round.  Or do the Giants still want in on this "prize"?  Oh, heck, I dunno.  Such is the case with dumpster fire divisions.  Besides, these teams all look alike to us up here in the Pacific Northwest: fresh meat.

If the ForeRedskins win, of course, they clinch (I think), at least over Philly, and that would also guarantee Washington a non-losing season.  Hey, I did say the NFC East is a dumpster fire, folks.

Tale of the Tape?  Why not?  In these harrowing times, with the culture, the economy, and the world in flames, we can use all the gallows guffaws we can get:

POWER RANKING: Redskins #13, Eagles #25

TOTAL OFFENSE: Eagles #15, Redskins #21
RUSHING OFFENSE: Eagles #13, Redskins #20
PASSING OFFENSE: Redskins #15, Eagles #16

TOTAL DEFENSE: Redskins #25, Eagles #29
RUSHING DEFENSE: Redskins #28, Eagles #30
PASSING DEFENSE: Redskins #14, Eagles #24

And finally we find some daylight between these sorry pretenders.  Both offenses are, to quote all-pro cornerback Richard Sherman, "MEDIocre" (though the Eagles are a little better on the ground) and both defenses are as wide open as Miley Cyrus's legs (except the 'skins are a little better against the pass).  So I guess that's a wash after all, isn't it?  Hmmmmm.

I guess I'll have to go with the intangible of Kirk Cousins pulling out games of late while Sam Bradford has been blowing them.

Washington*
Philadelphia (+3)

I'd wager Byron Maxwell and Walter Thurmond regret their decisions to depart the Legion of Boom now (other than Maxwell's ten million bucks a year, anyway).

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