Addadicktomies are real? Well, they reattached John Wayne Bobbitt's member once upon a time, so I suppose darn near anything is possible in the world of modern medicine.
Still, I've never seen that particular box on any organ donor form:
A cancer patient has received the first penis transplant in the United States, a Boston hospital said Monday.
Massachusetts General Hospital has confirmed that Thomas Manning of Halifax, Massachusetts, received the transplanted penis in a fifteen-hour procedure last week. The organ was transplanted from a deceased donor.
The New York Times first reported the transplant Monday.
Dr. Curtis Cetrulo, who helped lead the surgical team, tells the newspaper that normal urination should be possible for the sixty-four-year-old Manning in a few weeks, with sexual function possible in weeks to months.
The Times reports most of Manning's penis was removed during his battle with penile cancer.
"Penile cancer"? That's got to be the most horrifying two-word combination in the English language. I don't even want to know how that's contracted, either.
Mr. Manning is the third such transplantee. The first was a Chinese man eleven years ago who reportedly had himself recastrated two weeks later due to, in his words, "psychological problems experienced by him and his wife". Which I interpret to mean that his wife was berating him for not having ordered a bigger one. The second was a South African man a year and a half ago at the University of Stellenbosch whose procedure was necessitated by his original "li'l buddy" having had to be whacked due to complications from "a botched circumcision in his late-teens".
Here's hoping Mr. Manning's new flag pole is salutable in the very near future. And that he washes his hands before accepting handshakes of congratulations.