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Monday, May 16, 2016


By Independent Correspondent Marvin J. Finklewitz, Jr.

Special to the Political Pistachio

A bitter controversy erupted in the Toroville Unified School District early this week. An unnamed biologically male student at Pocho Sangron High School (previously named Rosa Parks High and Lincoln High before that) has been temporarily suspended while an investigation is pending
about several alleged incidents of his having sex with biologically female students in the girls locker room after P.E.

The biologically male student has stated that he/she identifies as female.

The family has declined to comment, referring all inquiry to their attorney, Melvin Scheister.

When queried about the scenario of a biologically male student being allowed to use the girl's locker room by claiming to identify as female, then having sex with several girls in the shower area on different occasions, Scheister replied “My client is a lesbian who had the misfortune to be sexually assaulted by those depraved students.” He declined to comment further.

White House Spokesperson Josh Ernest said this morning that "The Justice Department is considering filing a civil rights complaint against the Toroville Unified School District based on the district's failure to adequately protect the transgender student from being unmolested by

Pocho Sangron principle Janet Napleton was last seen Saturday afternoon running to her car through the supermarket parking lot being chased by large crowd of reporters. There is a police car parked in front of her residence, and the phone line has apparently been disconnected.

The scheduled school board meeting next week has been canceled, and high school administration officials are not commenting. It appears a large number of students, particularly girls, are being kept home by their parents.

In other news, 65 year old Harvey Slocum of Toroville was convicted of a sex crime last Monday and will return to court for sentencing next Wednesday.

On an isolated stretch of the Naco Highway out of Toroville, Slocum was seen three months ago by the driver of a passing vehicle rushing from his car on the side of the road and disappearing into the bushes. Stopped several miles down the road by a Sheriff's deputy, Slocum admitted it was for the purpose of urination. Slocum has been held on a $500,000 bond since then.

Being on a fixed income, Slocum hasn't made bail and is represented by the Public Defender.

Judge Harlow denied a motion by the defense to bring into evidence Slocum's medical records, which would have shown that Slocum has a medical problem which results in frequent urination. The Judge also instructed the Jury to not consider the fact that no one, including the 911 caller, actually saw Slocum urinating.

Slocum faces having to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

Satire by Allan McNew

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary

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