While cooking I heard the television in the other room. My adult daughter was watching the Tyra Banks Show. I didn't catch the whole conversation between Tyra and her whimpering guest, but from what I could gather the woman in the hot seat was complaining about how distraught she was because people constantly said mean things to her, and as a result she didn't feel very confident in herself.
I looked around the corner as Tyra Banks took the spotlight, and the camera zoomed in on her. She said that we can't go around saying mean things to people, even if it is the truth. We need to say things that build people up, and make them feel good about themselves. We should only say encouraging things. If a person is fat, we shouldn't just say "you're fat" to them. We should focus on the positive things they portray. We should know when to say nothing at all.
My first thought was, "Why do people allow others to have that kind of power over them? Why would anyone allow themselves to have low confidence about themselves because some jerk said mean things to them?"
I agree in part with Tyra Banks. We shouldn't say messed up things to people. Sometimes we do say hurtful things without even realizing it. Some people are more willing to blurt out negative remarks than others. Most never realize they do it, and often the reason behind it is to build themselves up at the expense of the recipient of their remarks. There are even people out there that say mean things because they are mean people, and know very well that the recipient is going to crawl into a corner and contemplate suicide because of the wrong remarks. Like it or not, that is a fact of life. The thing is, it is not my responsibility to make sure someone else feels good about themselves. That responsibility lies within themselves, and no one else.
People say offensive things all the time. Instead of believing them, how about we decide to not get offended and suck it up? Of course there are limits, and as I said earlier, folks ought not say mean things. . . but if they do, why not just consider the source and move forward?
Sometimes the mean things said are accurate. Sometimes we need to hear the truth, no matter how messed up it is. Once again, rather than curling up into a ball and crying for mommy, wouldn't it be more productive to say, "Hey, I am [insert mean remark here], and . . . " The rest of the sentence would then be up to you. Maybe it is a call for changing whatever it is that was attacked. Maybe it is a sign that the person saying things needs to be dropped out of your fab-five list, or what not. Maybe it is simply just another remark about something you don't care to change, and if the people saying something about it don't like it, it's their tough tea cups.
Many may argue that persons delivering verbal attacks of this nature are "haters." Just because someone has a problem with something about you, it doesn't make them a hater. I am sure you have things you don't like about them too. So what?
Nobody has power over how I feel. At one time in my life, people did. But ultimately, I realized how foolish it was. I asked myself, "How will it benefit me if I am bothered by something someone says?"
Should I shudder when a liberal says I couldn't possibly understand the things I think I understand because I am some lowly truck driver? Should I stop writing because the opposition says that what I write is poorly written, or loaded with untruths when I know that what I am presenting is true to my opinion? Should I give up because the government has determined that I am some out of control right wing, extremist domestic terrorist, when I know I am nothing of the sort?
Screw them.
We drive on a two-way street, and just because someone says something that should offend me, it doesn't mean I have to be offended. My "self-esteem" is not dependent upon anyone else's opinion. I am not going to have low self-confidence because some jackass is too much of an idiot to keep his mouth shut.
And neither should you.
-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary
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