Obama Pinpricks....al Shabab?

by JASmius

Well, President Relentless Pursuit ran out of bluffs for his disinclination to oppose the Islamic State, so it's back to the "kinetic distractions":

U.S. military forces attacked the [Muslim] al-Shabab network in Somalia Monday, the Pentagon said, and a witness described ground-shaking explosions in a strike that reportedly targeted the group's leader [Ahmed Abdi Godane].

Al-Shabab had attacked the upscale Westgate Mall in Nairobi, Kenya, killing at least 67 people a year ago this month and the U.S. had targeted planners of the bloody assault. There was no immediate comment from al-Shabab and U.S. commanders were waiting to determine the attack's outcome.

"U.S. military forces conducted an operation in Somalia today against the al-Shabab network. We are assessing the results of the operation and will provide additional information as and when appropriate," said Pentagon Press Secretary Rear Admiral John Kirby.

Neato.

Does that sound less than entirely martial?  Don't get me wrong, my fellow warmongers, this surely looks good.  Shrieking jets like Top Gun.  Fiery explosions like A-Team.  Probably pithy one-liners, too, like, "Wow, that looks just like Call of Duty, doesn't it?"  And, perhaps, a jihadist leader reduced to his constituent floating atoms, yet with a satisfying mist of ketchup-hued mist and viscera tanging the air with a distinctly ferric aroma.  Yes, most invigorating.

Along with a number of adjutants, flunkies, auxiliaries, and innocent, collateral personnel, of course.  Air strikes can only be so surgical.

But what will it get us?  We need to capture and coercively interrogate jihadist kingpins before we blow them up real good.  In asymmetrical warfare, intelligence and information is the coin of the realm, not enemy body counts.  Because, if you'll recall, the enemy doesn't care about its own body count but cares passionately about driving up ours, the more innocent and defenseless the better.  And we can't know what they're plotting unless we grab them and extract that information from their brains with only as much torture as is absolutely necessary.  Unless the Regime sent an expedition to South America to dig up Indiana Jones's crystal skull and figured out how to manipulate its telepathic capabilities.  It would certainly explain how Barack Obama got re-elected.

And, of course, what if Ahmed Abdi Godane was not present at this al-Shabab staff meeting?  Or got away?  And why did it take a full year after the Nairobi mall attack for U.S. intelligence to pin down this guy?  Was Eric "The Red" Holder running low on toner for printing criminal indictments?  "Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant," I guess.

In the mean time, for at least one 24-hour news cycle, "The Drone Warrior" hath returneth, giving the real-life Al Czervik a much-merited day off.