Illegally and unconstitutionally force local school districts to buy "healthy" food that tastes like dried turkey turds; force local school districts to serve it to school children as "lunches"; school children, finding that it tastes like dried turkey turds, don't want it and throw it away in immense, enormous proportions; local school districts find themselves suffering from "severe financial hardships". Gee, who could have seen this coming?
But I suppose it could have been worse. I remember when I was in grade school in the early 1970s, one time I saw a teacher that practically put one little girl in a headlock while trying to pry open her clenched jaws so that another teacher could shovel some peas into it. If local school districts tried that today, they'd be sued to the center of the planet, and teachers and administrators would be going hungry just like their students.
But not Scheherezade, oh no:
New health rules for school lunches have been hailed by the White House and championed by first lady Michelle Obama but they're creating financial havoc, with cafeteria workers losing their jobs or work hours and food going to waste, a new survey shows.
So The Arms is contributing to her husband's tightly concealed double-digit unemployment rate. The wonder is that I was able to take a break from my dumpster-diving to take note of it.
The report by the School Nutritional Association reports nearly seven of every ten respondents say the strict health standards begun in 2012 have been harmful to their program’s financial health — and 80% of districts have had to take harsh steps to offset their financial losses.
No, no, local school districts, just raise the price of your White House-mandated dried turkey turd lunches through the roof. I'm sure that'll make ends meet. Michelle said so.
Forty-eight percent of school districts said they reduced staffing by reducing hours, imposing layoffs or deferring hiring. About 41% of districts said they cut their reserve fund to cope, over 35% said they chipped away at menu choices....
Damn, there goes the hummus.
....and about 32% deferred or canceled equipment investments.
Like, for example, the deep fryers. I understand they were confiscated and reassigned to the White House mess.
At the heart of the problem, the survey finds, is that kids don't like the food. [emphasis added]
Kids not liking "what's good for them"; a phenomenon that's only been the case for approximately forever. But dietary reasonableness and balance are so "rightwing".
"Enough already," one association member writes of the strict rules, according to the report. "A lot of damage has been done. Now, every group in our high school has taken on the sale of all kinds of things. Classroom pizza parties are everywhere and often. The intention may have been honorable; the results are not."
I hope the pizza party teachers have updated their resumes. Food that tastes good is considered black market contraband, you know.
According to the report, there's a "strong consensus as to the leading reason for the decline in lunch [average daily participation]: decreased student acceptance of meals," noting that reason cited by nearly 93% of the districts that had a dip in the numbers of children eating school lunches. [emphases added]
Look, folks, there's nothing wrong with encouraging youngsters to eat healthier. Although I do remember a time when such a thing was parents' responsibility. Probably concurrent with those two teachers trying to wrestle that little girl into pea ingestion. Or maybe a little before. Heaven knows my dearly departed mom did her best to get me to eat a balanced diet. Which must have been a blast of fun since I was once the most finicky eater on the planet. But even I "got it" eventually. Though it wasn't until almost forty years later that my bout of hypertensive urgency completed the nutritional information lesson.
Point is, that was not mom's fault, it was mine - and it was never the government's responsibility or authority, since "food" and "school lunch" are words that are found nowhere in the United States Constitution, much less as enumerated powers of the federal government. Or, if you prefer, there's all kinds of wrong with forcing youngsters to eat healthier. Only two outcomes can result: teachers putting students in headlocks while trying to pry their clenched jaws open to shovel in metaphorical, and eventually literal, garbage; or kids depositing their Michelle-mandated dried turkey turd lunches in the nearest trash can and going hungry. Which brings the entire school lunch program full circle, since I recall that the genesis of that program was student hunger. And half a century later here comes Mountainous Michelle to put them all on a diet.
Hey, I didn't say her diet.
Exit thought: When I was in junior high and high school (yes, yes, after wading through six feet of snow uphill both ways in July to get there), we had something that has never, ever occurred to Scheherezade and of which her Marxist-Alinskyist brain is likely incapable of conceiving: Choice. If you bought your lunch, you could get the regular lunch, or you could get a burger and fries. And believe it or not, as I recall, there was usually a line at both counters.
And some mothers even discovered this alien concept known as the brown bag.
Thanks, Mom.
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