Remember a few months back when, inexplicable to anthropogenic global warming hoaxists, the Arctic ice cap was found to have grown over 50% in the preceding year? Well, don't look now, greenstremists, but its Antarctic counterpart hasn't exactly melted to maintain cryonic divergence:
The sea ice coverage around Antarctica over the weekend marked a record high, with the ice surrounding the continent measuring at 2.07 million square kilometers, according to an environmentalist and author [Harold Ambler] who says the ice there has actually been increasing since 1979 despite continued warnings of global warming....
"The previous record anomaly for Southern Hemisphere sea ice area was 1.840 million square kilometers and occurred on December 20, 2007," said Ambler. Meanwhile, he pointed out, global sea ice area on Sunday was standing at 0.991 million square kilometers above average, a figure he arrived at by adding anomalies for the North and South hemispheres.
My goodness, that's inconvenient. I mean, I know the Roland Emmerich theory about melting ice caps "freshening" the oceans, disrupting the Gulf Stream "conveyor" current, triggering a 24-hour ice age and killing the entire population of the Northern Hemisphere that doesn't make it south of the Rio Grande in time to provide Enrique Peña Nieto with a fresh crisis to exploit....
....But there's this other little theory called the "Fat Albert" theory - named for its progenitor, an obscure vice president a couple of decades back - that holds that there shouldn't be any icecaps anymore because they should all have melted completely by now and we should all be roasting to death....
....So which is it, Watermelons? The Emmerich Big Freeze or the Gore Fricassee?
Oh, but wait, both of them require melting ice caps, don't they? Hmmm; that's a problem. I suppose they could always compromise by letting Fat Albert immolate the Southern Hemisphere, since Emmerich has already turned the Northern Hemisphere into an ice cream bar. Except for the melting Arctic cap that isn't melting. Wow, climatological hysteria is hard, isn't it?
But fret not, Gaia-worshippers, your high priests have got it handled:
However, [Ambler] pointed out that climatologists have discounted the importance and growth of the Antarctic sea ice.
Now if they can just master mass hypnosis and make everybody forget about the burgeoning Arctic ice cap, all their problems will be solved.
Good thing their demigod is in the White House, huh?
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