"United Fellowship" - get it? And what the "fellows" at "Freedom 4 All, Inc." get done to their "hips" is, ostensibly, a downright "religious" experience:
Six nights a week, "The Social Club" in downtown Nashville holds parties for couples and singles to dance, flirt and mingle.
Sometimes they take the festivities upstairs — to the private beds, the love swings, the group play areas, the “Sybian” room or the dungeon.
Yes, people have sex there.
“Remember, we are all strangers until we meet!” is a motto at this private swingers group founded in 1980 for consenting adults to explore their sexual fantasies with and around each other.
Swinging, debauchery, perversion, STD incubating, I'm sure they've got it all. Just as we all know that such "clubs" exist. And if they remain in the proverbial red light districts and stay away from respectable, domestic society - hump and let live, as it were - peaceful coexistence is a practical, er, proposition.
The UFC, unfortunately, could not leave well enough alone:
The swingers recently decided they were ready to move to the suburbs. The suburbs do not appear ready for the swingers. When the club purchased a building next to a Christian school, residents protested and threw zoning problems in its way. [Emphasis added]
You can see this one, uh, "coming" a mile away, cantcha?
So the swingers have come up with a new plan to short-circuit the zoning static around their relocation: Their new club, they say, is a "church" — a "church" for swingers to meet, to mingle and to engage in the regular practice of their "faith".
"Oralizing" "hymns" like Amazing Jizz and Our God Cums and How Great Thou Art Hung, no doubt. "Communion" to be taken out of "juice" "boxes". A girl inside every "pulpit," of course. And you know when the congregation holds hands in communal prayer? They'll be holding something, alright, but it won't be each others' hands.
Perhaps they'll even land Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart for the "elder" board. John Holmes can be their first patron "saint," and Robert Heinlein their first apostle.
If the city accuses them of running a sham church, the club’s longtime lawyer Larry Roberts says that the Constitution is on their side.
If the courts and the Founding Fathers are idiots, that is. Which the latter were not; the former? Depends on how diligently the "devout" swingers shop for their judge.
This is, of course, just another mode of anti-Christian persecution. The notion that there was no place else for this bunch o' buggerers to relocate is patently absurd. They targeted that Christian school, to flaunt their "lifestyle" at best, to prey upon the (older?) students at worst, every bit as much as homosexual "couples" target Christian bakeries, caterers, and photographers. To hide under the label of "church" is nothing but an expression of, um, "dripping" contempt. That the WaPo considers it a legitimate question, and that the UFC will probably win even in the capital of goat-roper music, shows how de-Christianized American culture has become.
Exit question: Were there no mosques or Muslim schools available next door to which to move? At the rate Barack Obama is Islamicizing America, I wouldn't think they would be all that <ahem> "hard" to find. Seems like UFC's due diligence was more than a little "limp".
Followup exit question: If the Christians next door come a-proselytizing, will the UFCers charge them with "harassment" and obtain a restraining order? Do we even have to ask? In fact, how long until UFC uses the courts to shut down the Christian school altogether? Six months? A year?
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