One of Barack Obama's unbearably pretentious auto-biographies was titled The Audacity Of Hope. Hillary Clinton has now unveiled her new Emailgate non-mea culpa and dubbed it The Audacity of Nope:
It’s important for you to know a few key facts. My use of a personal email account was aboveboard and allowed under the State Department’s rules. Everyone I communicated with in government was aware of it. And nothing I ever sent or received was marked classified at the time.
As this process proceeds, I want to be as transparent as possible. That’s why I’ve provided all of my work emails to the government to be released to the public, and why I’ll be testifying in public in front of the Benghazi Committee later next month. [emphases added]
<blink> Oh, come on, Mrs. Clinton, you're not even trying. Surely you must know what Albert Einstein once said about insanity being defined as trying the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result. Spouting the same BS over and over and over again isn't going to make it any truer, nor will it be any likelier to put over these lies with an American public that already doesn't believe a word of them. Certainly the "smartest woman on the planet" must be aware of that reality, yes?
And she probably is. But it's not necessarily that she thinks her transparent lies are going to actually deceive anybody, but that she expects us to accept them regardless of high-bore public skepticism. Rather like the way my mother used to pry open my mouth and spoon "Silence Is Golden" cough medicine down my gullet when I was little, even though it tasted like Dutch cleanser, on the apparent premise that if you're gagging and retching uncontrollably, you won't be able to cough.
That analogy really does nail this story, as Her Nib's Facebook post links to the equivalent page on her campaign website which simply regurgitates the same "Four Points" in bullet-point form:
1) Hillary takes responsibility for her decision to use a personal account, and the challenges it has created.
2) Her use of a private email account was allowed under State Department rules.
3) Nothing she sent or received was marked classified.
4) She provided all of her work-related emails to the State Department.
Bullbleep, bullbleep, bullbleep, and, this just in, bullbleep.
1) It wasn't her "personal account," it was a clandestine email server through which ALL her OFFICIAL electronic communications flowed for her entire four-year tenure at State, set up that way for the express purpose of evading the Federal Records Act and any and all Freedom of Information Act and congressional oversight. It's kind of hard to "take responsibility" for something you won't even accurately acknowledge.
2) Not exclusively, and sure as shinola not for official communications. That was diametrically against "State Department rules," and the very offense for which she once herself bleep-canned one of her ambassadors. Although that clearly didn't take place in the same quantum dimension she is now inhabiting.
3) To quote Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's famous catch-phrase, "It doesn't matter" if and whether any of her emails were "marked classified" or not, because it was not, nor was it ever, within her purview to make that call. Classified material, in other words, was already classified when she received it, and a Cabinet-level officer - much less "the smartest woman on the planet" - should be reasonably expected to have enough on the ball between the ears to recognize that satellite intel on North Korean nuclear weapons, for example, is quite probably top secret material.
And I'm sure she did. She just didn't give a bleep.
4) She provided SOME of her "work-related" emails to the State Department, heavily redacted, and only after her secret email caper got caught, serendipitously, by Trey Gowdy's Benghazi select committee.
Why does she keep up this shredded, farcical facade? To stay out of jail, mostly. But she's more than arrogant enough to believe that she's entitled to have the voters swallow it whole. You know, like "Silence Is Golden" cough medicine.
I know I'm gagging and retching already.
UPDATE: Don't miss Ron Fournier's nineteen counter-questions that delightfully undress Hill....never mind, you're all gagging and retching enough as it is.
UPDATE II (9/10): Looks like the Obama DOJ has decided to swill the Empress's Kool-Aid:
Lawyers with the Justice Department on Thursday told a federal court that Hillary Clinton had the legal right to use her own email account and broke no laws in how she handled those messages, the Washington Times is reporting.
The lawyers defended the former secretary of state in a legal filing, saying they have no right to order [Mrs.] Clinton to turn over any more emails or documents than those she has already given back to the government.
"There is no question that Secretary Clinton had authority to delete personal emails without agency supervision — she appropriately could have done so even if she were working on a government server," the DOJ lawyers said, according to the Times.
It's their Bizarro World, in other words, and only by their great and generous benevolence that they continue to allow us to be incarcerated within it.
Or, "Email THIS, bitches!"