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Thursday, December 03, 2015

Email of the Week: Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims

By Douglas V. Gibbs

This may or may not be actual words by the famed blue collar comedian, but to be honest, it wouldn't surprise me if Jeff Foxworthy came up with the following list of "you might be a Muslim" quips:

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims: 
 
1. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing- You may be a Muslim.
 
2. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four-You may be a Muslim.
 
3. If you have more wives than teeth-You may be a Muslim.
 
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean-You may be a Muslim. 
 
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and Suicide-You may be a Muslim.
 
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against-You may be a Muslim.
 
7. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor-You may be a Muslim.
 
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs-You may be a Muslim. 
 
9. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes-You may be a Muslim. 

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary

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