There are no words for this, my friends, other than, "Physician, heal thyself."
Ever since La Clinton Nostra's pompadoured poodle asteroid-striked his way into the Republican presidential nomination contest seven months ago, much of nationally syndicated conservative talk radio - from Limbaugh to Hannity to Ingraham to Savage to most definitely Mark Levin, with Glenn Beck and Hugh Hewitt being the refreshing exceptions - have been absolute gerbils so far up Donald Trump's ass that they could hold down the thermometer for the taking of the billionaire slumlord's oral temperature so that he wouldn't need to bother using his tongue. Nothing has dislodged them from their Trumplican fanboy/girl-ism, not the biggest anti-conservative heresies - support for wealth confiscation taxes, Planned Parenthood and abortion on demand, sodomarriage, single-payer socialized medicine, protectionism and trade wars that would make Dick Gephardt blanch, amnesty. Either they have gone as completely off their collective nut, jettisoning every conservative principle they've claimed to believe in and champion for lo these many years, even decades, as Trump's Tea Party backers, completely and insanely obsessed with eradicating the "GOP establishment," or they believe a sufficiently large portion of their audiences are that they fear losing them, and thus are blatantly pandering to them to the backhanded exclusion of the rest of their audience that hasn't lost its collective ever-loving mind. Which is why I haven't listened to Limbaugh in ages, even when I have the rare opportunity to do so. It's one more thing you never thought you'd ever see; one more sign of the Apocalypse.
So you'll all have to bear with me while I struggle mightily to suppress my urge to throttle Mark Levin for purporting to have finally discovered that Donald Trump really is the original definition and epitome of a RINO, and only having been dragged to this "Eureka!" moment by his hero unloading on an actual conservative:
Talk-show host Mark Levin Saturday told Donald Trump to "cut the crap" or risk losing conservative voters after the Republican front-runner intensified his attacks on Ted Cruz amid reports about his campaign contributions and the Texas senator's comments on "New York values."
"Either cut the crap — your accusations this morning that Cruz is Canadian, a criminal, owned by big banks, etc. … — or you will lose lots and lots of conservatives," Levin said on Facebook. "Save the liberal New York City bully tactics for the New York City liberals....
Mark, I want to you to stop, sit down, shut up, and listen to me very carefully: Donald Trump IS a "New York City liberal". Always has been, is, always will be. Why in the flying frak do you think he's attacking Ted Cruz?!? God Almighty, even the Texas junior senator figured out that much.
Levin is actually surprised, folks. "Lots and lots of [so-called] conservatives" are actually surprised that Donald Trump is being Donald Trump. They actually thought that Mr. Tea Party Warrior would be spared. It's so red-haze-anger-inducing that I'm finding it's all I can do to remember that this eye-scale-shedding moment is, if it's real, a good thing coming in just time to avert total disaster.
"I am already hearing more and more people getting fed up with the low road you're taking against Cruz, which has obviously intensified this morning," Levin said. "You don't need to attack his honor or attempt to smear his reputation. You can leave that to Mitch McConnell and the New York Times."
Ted Cruz called McConnell a liar on the floor of the Senate itself, Mark. Even as you're now belatedly realizing - God willing - the difference between an actual "true conservative" and a baying Jackass, you really would be well-advised to stop throwing ironic stones from the Texas senator's glass mansion.
The truth is, Trumpmania has cast, and inspired to be cast by so many (ex-)conservatives, so much fratricidal crap in every which direction in so many dimensions, that "cutting" it is like Noah forgoing the Ark in favor of opening a small umbrella. This is, indeed, the core of what I don't think Levin quite yet understands: Yes, Trump DOES need to attack Ted Cruz's honor and attempt to smear his reputation, because that's what liberals always do to conservatives because they can't win a substantive, issue-centered debate with us. And if Ted Cruz is the conservative in this equation, Mark, where does that put Donald Trump?
C'mon, man, these are not two difficult dots to connect. You've found the crayon box. You're almost home.
UPDATE (1/18): Attack Ted Cruz from the left (the only direction from which he CAN be attacked) and Trump (further) exposes his leftism; hit Cruz below the belt and he pisses off his Tea Partiers who should always have been in Cruz's camp to begin with.
Now do you see why I say that The Donald may have met his match?