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Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Rand Paul Quits

by JASmius

Rand is his father's son. He's Ron with a perm and a modicum of PR discretion. And like his dad, he has zero chance at the 2016 GOP nomination, which I think he knows, since according to Kentucky election law, he can't run for POTUS and re-election to his Senate seat at the same time, and I don't think he'd sacrifice the latter on a doomed presidential run.

- Me, ten months ago

And so it has come to pass.

Is this the line for doomed campaign "Paul"-bearers?:

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul (R) announced on Wednesday morning that he will be suspending his campaign for president following his fifth-place finish in the Iowa caucuses.

Paul is going to be focusing his efforts on his Senate reelection bid.

BREAKING: Kentucky Senator Rand Paul says he is ending his bid for the Republican nomination for president.

And in that much more important and relevant task, I wish Senator Paul good luck, Godspeed, and good hunting.

Now if "Death-Rattle" Bush, Carson, Christie, Fiorina, Kasich, Gilmore (?!?), and Santorum can only take a frakking hint and follow Paul and Huck out the loser/also-ran/bitter-ender door, we can actually get down to the business of stopping and finishing off the hostile Trump takeover attempt once and for all.

Hey, even a beaten and defeated man can dream, can't he?

UPDATE: The "Bow Out With Rand" statement, properly edited:

“It’s been an incredible honor to [lose] [my dad's vicarious third] [hopeless] campaign for the White House. Today, I will end where I began, ready and willing to fight for the cause of libert[arianism].

Across the country thousands upon thousands of young people flocked [but could not contribute] to our message of limited government, [jihad-abetting], criminal[-coddling], and a [weak, isolationist, defeatist, Petain-esque] foreign policy. Brushfires of libert[arianism] were ignited [that have already fizzled as the passing fads they were], as [have] I.

Although, today I will suspend my campaign for President, the fight is far from over. I will continue to carry the torch for libert[arianism] in the [wrong party] and I look forward to earning the privilege to represent the people of Kentucky for another term.”

Just hold the Kentucky Senate seat, Rand.  At least on Capitol Hill, your penchant for alternately being spot-on and insulting everybody's intelligence, depending on the issue, is actually part of the job description.

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