Sunday, March 13, 2016

North Korea Claims Tsar Bomba II

by JASmius

I wonder of Kim Jong-Un realizes that he's talking about himself.  I mean ,after all, he is shaped like a bomb, and he is always explosively shooting off his mouth in raging fits of the geostrategic equivalent of penis insecurity.  And with each successive bluster & spittle salvo, he gets sillier and sillier:

North Korea said Sunday it has developed a hydrogen bomb that could annihilate New York City, the Washington Post reports.

I'm sure they have.  Or might have.  But then, their fission warheads could do pretty much the same thing, and Kim isn't incessantly bragging about them.  Which means he can't deliver either one to Gotham even via FedEx or UPS.  Unless he really doesn't know the names of any other U.S. cities, or where New York is on a map.

"Our hydrogen bomb is much bigger than the one developed by the Soviet Union," said the article in the state-run DPRK Today.

Really?  Tsar Bomba was fifty megatons in size, the largest nuclear device ever detonated.  It seems like it would be awfully difficult to contain a "much bigger" version of this.....

....underground, wouldn't you say, Dear Leader?  At least not without turning South Korea into an island, anyway.

"If this H-bomb were to be mounted on an intercontinental ballistic missile and fall on Manhattan in New York City, all the people there would be killed immediately and the city would burn down to ashes," the reported quoted a nuclear scientist identified as Cho Hyong Il.

And if I received oral ministrations from Jessica Alba, pigs would fly out of my butt.  Neither seem all that likely.

The hydrogen bomb "surpasses our imagination," Cho says.

Given how vivid Kim Jong-Un's imagination is, even I find that difficult to believe.

"The H-bomb developed by the Soviet Union in the past was able to smash windows of buildings 1,000 kms [625 miles] away and the heat was strong enough to cause third-degree burns 100 kms [62.5 miles] away," the website said.

And if you had even one of those, the ChiComms would have already confiscated it for their arsenal.

Next week: Kim boasts of having found the planet-cracking "Alpha & Omega" bomb from Beneath The Planet Of The Apes....

Does this mean Kim no longer needs his puny atom bombs?

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