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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Gun Control Fairy Tales: "Let's Shoot A Child In The Face"

by JASmius

Last week, the NRA introduced their own twist on how the traditional fairy tales that we (by which I mean my generation and older) grew up with.  Which makes perfect sense when you think about it, because most if not all of them involved defenseless women and/or children getting eaten by wild animals or witches and other horrors that might, in the context of the stories, have been prevented by providing Little Red Riding Hood and Hanzel & Gretel with a high-caliber equalizer:

Gun-rights supporters say the stories — which started with Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun) and continued with Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns) — are a more peaceful alternative to the often disturbing fairy tales from childhood.

“The stories are really also for adults,” [Amelia] Hamilton told CBS News on Friday morning. “It’s all about safety and it’s for parents to start those conversations.”

Hamilton’s latest story, published last week, tells the revised tale of Hansel and Gretel, who “had been taught how safely to use a gun and had been hunting with their parents most of their lives” — and who took their survival skills into the woods.

Having read some of them, Miss Hamilton could have had a lot more fun with the subject matter, but kept it straight and instructional, as with how LRRH's grandmother pre-empted the Big Bad Wolf:

“What big eyes you have,” Grandma gasped as she backed away.

“The better to see you with,” replied the wolf.

“What big ears you have,” She turned, with her back to the door.

“The better to hear you with,” the wolf said, coming ever closer.

“What big teeth you have!” Grandma said, as his fierce jaws came near.

The better to eat you with!” the wolf threatened.

The wolf leaned in, jaws open wide, then stopped suddenly. Those big ears heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun’s safety being clicked off. Those big eyes looked down and saw that grandma had a scattergun aimed right at him. He realized that Grandmother hadn’t been backing away from him; she had been moving towards her shotgun to protect herself and her home.

Just so.  And just as well, as Bugs Bunny added the comedic angle decades ago....

....and the Left wasted no time in reflexively mocking it.

Colbert's bit was so-so at best, comedically speaking, and was overshadowed by the audience cheering the LRRH excerpt above, I thought.  But it was still, you know, an attempt to be lightheartedly funny.

The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, by contrast, either has a twisted sense of humor, or they're comparing notes with the witch that ate Hansel & Gretel:

A new ad from a prominent gun control group features the main character from Alice in Wonderland shooting herself in the face with a handgun.

Which would never have happened if her parents had provided her the proper instruction in gun safety through the NRA, dickmeat.  How difficult is this to parse, anyway?

The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence published the ad titled Alice PSA to its YouTube page Thursday. In it, Alice can be seen following the white rabbit through wonderland when she comes upon a room with a cabinet. In the cabinet she finds a gun, with which she then shoots herself in the face.

Maybe Alice's last name was "Fudd".

“Over one-third of all American households have a gun,” a voiceover says as Alice pulls the trigger. “Ask your neighbor: Is there a gun where they play? Asking saves kids.”

Which, again, is an argument for NRA gun safety instruction, not Australia-style gun confiscation.  Because guns do not fire themselves....

....and "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

Here's that Brady Campaign ad:

Oops, that one is G-rated.

I meant THIS one:

Well, THAT brings Alice In Wonderland to life, doesn't it?  Pun VERY much intended.  It's like the BC sought to wed that with a Darwinistic "thinning the herd of stupid people" message.  Which obviously hasn't been effective since they're still around to make sick PSAs like this one.

Exit quote from Jazz Shaw: "The Brady Campaign clearly chooses to go a different route. They’re so desperate to have some violence, preferably at the hands of someone with a gun, that they portray a young child unloading a handgun into her face. As if the original fairy tales weren’t scarring enough for kids who are trying to get some sleep!  This is just sick. There’s really no other way to describe it."

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