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Thursday, April 07, 2016


By Allan McNew

It was a fine day in Chicago, a productive day in which community organizer Barack Obama had savagely race-baited a high school administrator, who refused to hold a mandatory assembly to show an educational civics film featuring patriotic journalist Frank Marshall Davis, into cringing submission. As a gloating Obama approached his car, keys in hand and not a thought about his happy surroundings, a gang-banger suddenly appeared in front of him and shoved a pistol up Obama's left nostril. 

“Give me your keys!” shouted the banger. 

Obama replied, “You're on the wrong side of history, it's illegal in the city of Chicago to possess a hand gun.” 

The banger reflected for a moment, then, removing the weapon from Obama's schnoz and replacing the firearm to it's customary place of repose, the waistband next to the zipper, pleasantly said “You're right, my good man” then proceeded to beat the living sh** out of Obama, working him over on top of the hood for a while, then throwing him to the ground to get a little footwork in. As Obama lay on the ground clutching his ruptured testicles, gasping for breath while his nose bled like Vesuvius once erupted, the banger took Obama's wallet, the keys and his car and summarily, while Obama was being transported to the emergency room, burglarized Obama's place of abode, making off with the loot stashed in the back seat and trunk of Obama's car. The car was found the next day in an abandoned industrial complex, reduced to a frame on cinder blocks with only the cab attached.

Later that week, a reporter asked blackened eyed, bandaged nosed, spraddle leg limping Barack Obama to speculate on what motivated the perp's vicious attack, to which Obama replied “Man made climate change”.

“Bear-!e”  Obama had a troubled youth yet found the father figure he never had with his birth family, Frank Marshal Davis, who is said to have loved children in any one definition of several ways. They would do father – son things like don Che Guevara berets, belt down Mad Dog and Night Train while gently discussing the nuances of our constitutional republic. Every now and then, when Frank was preoccupied writing poetry about the greatness of the nation or sending words of encouragement to his dear counterparts in the Soviet Union, “Bear-!e” Obama would slip off for a little alone time to peruse one of Frank's novels about cocaine fueled, bisexual orgies.

It was a tearful separation when “Bear-!e” Obama, who had become an adult, self identified gender-person, left Frank for the educational opportunities and bath house politics of the California progressive community, no zip code provided.

After Obama became educated to the point of bursting from his pores with tolerant, free discussion of ideas and humble, brotherly acceptance for those unlike one's self as exemplified by campus politics, academia in general, ethnic studies professors in particular, the media and one party rulers of California, he set off for the old Chicago stomping grounds of both Frank Marshall Davis and moderate community organizer Saul Alinsky to carry on in their patriotic shoes. It was a pilgrimage
of sorts, a rite of passage.

Obama pooh poohed the notion that the Communist Party USA had worked Chicago pretty hard since the 1920's, that it had infiltrated the local Democratic party and was a major cause of Chicago figuratively resembling Mayor Harold Washington's overflowing chamberpot. Obama rolled his sleeves up and went to work as a “community organizer”, which, when referring to anyone else, is someone who picks at scabs and foments societal polarization towards a political goal beyond what those they “help” are led to believe, which often involves bait and switch*. Obama's efforts were apparently successful in his way of counting success: The poverty rate is still up there and Chicago has among the highest murder rates in the nation, much if not the large majority of it black on black, but the constituents faithfully check the blue box on the ballot while chanting “Black lives matter”. 

While the chamber pot now belongs to Rahm Emanuel, Obama contributed to its contents as did Frank Marshall Davis before him.

This is where the rubber hits the road. I had started this as a satire piece, but it's pretty hard for me to satirize Obama. Obama has done so many outrageous things, told so many lies and has so sold out the United States that inversion of fact, spinning of details, understatement, overstatement, gross exaggeration, building on a grain of truth or just plain making up wild, ridiculous things to make a back handed point about the truth (IE: the first two paragraphs) got to be much less fun as I progressed through the story. Besides, there is this dead air element of painfully waiting for him to leave office. The man is like a fart in a space suit, he just won't go away.

I found myself being compelled towards frank discussion about Obama's often treasonous and usually destructive approach to the American people, their government, their Congress, their nation, their states, his negative impact on their present and future, how he has so contributed to ever widening polarization between America's citizens, which is to a community organizer's end. To create so much hate and division that there can be no reconciliation and the agenda, repugnant as it may actually be, gets pushed over the finish line.

May Mr. Obama have an interesting destiny.

Good night.
*Such as Obamacare

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary

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