Hunting, Fishing, and Bass Pro Shops

By Douglas V. Gibbs

I love the outdoors. I didn't as much as a kid, but as I have gotten older, I have learned to truly appreciate the wide blue yonder. Opportunities I have had to fish, hunt, hike, or go camping have been some of the most enjoyable moments of my adult life. Lack of time and/or money makes it difficult to partake of those activities often, however. Even trips to the Oregon Coast, where I own some property left to me by my father, has become rare and far between.

Because of my love of the outdoors, Bass Pro Shops are among my favorite places to visit. To share my love of the store-of-the-outdoor, after our visit to the Richard M. Nixon Library and Birthplace Museum, I took my wife to the Bass Pro Shop in Rancho Cucamonga as the second leg of our 26th Wedding anniversary celebration.

Unfortunately, Museums are one of the few things my wife and I have in common. The term, "opposites attract," is very true with it comes to my wife and I. Through our 26 years of marriage, we have determined that our commonalities are a love for museums, the fact that we love each other, and our children. Everything beyond that, except her willingness to enjoy an Angels baseball game with me every once in a while, is pretty much a disagreement.

The Bass Pro Shop is filled with everything an outdoorsman could ever desire. Firearms, fishing equipment, camping gear, hunting gear, bows, all-terrain vehicles, boats and boating gear, and heavy duty outdoor gear and clothing. Everything there could be to make a man like me happy, and a bunch of things that my wife felt repelled by.

I told my wife that if I was given the opportunity, I could easily spend a couple hundred thousand dollars in a Bass Pro Shops store. After looking at a couple all-terrain vehicles, one for $14,000, and the other for $9,000 (which I figure would be perfect for tooling around the property in Oregon, primarily between the house and the 'well road' down to the creek), she realized I was right.

She marveled at the decorations. Wildlife scenes, complete with river and live fish, are strewn throughout the store. As I gravitated toward the firearms section, my wife found a vendor advertising safari trips.

When I walked up to the booth, the photos of the kills, likely in Africa, left me marveling, and wishing I could go on such a trek. My wife was appalled, horrified, and disgusted.

Goes back to that opposites attract thing.

I pulled her away, showed her a couple of Rugers I'd love to purchase, and then dragged her over to the camping section where we found a two-seat kayak that would be perfect for a trip down the Rogue River.

By the way, rather than spending hundreds of thousands of bucks, I settled for a $5 hat.

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary