Rush Limbaugh Is Not Running For President

By Douglas V. Gibbs

A friend of mine, who hasn't talked to me about politics ever since I told him that Sarah Palin would make a fine President, told me he had been wanting to talk to me all morning. Our last conversation a few months ago ended with him stating, "Palin is a stupid woman. My God, she said she could see Russia from her house." And I responded, "No, she didn't say that, Tina Fey did while impersonating her."

However, now he was ready to talk again. He said, "I heard on the radio this morning that your buddy Rush Limbaugh is going to run for president."

I laughed at him, and offered, "Man, you need to quit listening to all of that leftist propaganda."

Though Rush does not feed my speakers everyday, I have listened to him enough to know that he has no interest in running for any kind of political office. Rush does, however, like to play with the minds of the liberal media, and their mindless followers. One of the ways Rush gets the progressives slathering at the bit is with his "media tweak of the day." Basically, knowing how the leftists think, he'll say something that may mean one thing to conservatives, while another to utopianists, or he'll throw out something with the intent of illustrating absurdity with absurdity. Rush will even announce what he said was the media tweak of the day, and almost always the gullible leftist media will eat it up and slobber all over themselves over what Limbaugh said - reacting exactly as Rush intended them to.

The liberal left collectivist sheep listening to the media then feed off of the liberal left propaganda like buzzards feasting on carrion.

As the Left is fumbling around, bumping into walls, over Rush's media tweak, Limbaugh and his listeners kick up their feet and laugh at the foolish idiots of the Left.

I have always wondered if Rush laughs at the responses to his media tweaks as I do over the moronic leftist comments I get on Political Pistachio.

Neurotic Tom is especially entertaining. I imagine him bent over his keyboard with saliva and sweat drenched lips, bloodshot eyes, and the blood veins popping out of his reddened neck as he pounds his fists on his keyboard trying to figure out ways to get under my skin.

One of Tom's recent attacks was especially desperate. He zeroed in on a tie I wore for a speech I did in Chino, California. An attack that I thought was even a stretch for Tommie.

For whatever the reason, liberal left loonies hold rage for conservatives. The truth gets them fighting mad. Virtue-driven "right-wingers" especially get them to the point of blood practically squirting out of their eyes.

A very curious phenomenon, these raging leftists are.

The worst part of it all are the uninformed, and deceived, sheep that fall hook, line, and sinker for the collectivist conditioning and propaganda that the liberal Democrats, and their loyal biased media, have to offer. The majority of the attacks by the Left are so ridiculous, it actually boggles the mind that these people actually fall for this crap.

Sarah Palin was not a book burner, and she never said she could see Russia from her house. Conservatives don't want the homeless to freeze, the poor to go hungry, and granny to subsist on cat food or die from a lack of health care (we just don't think it is the role of the federal government to act as a charity). Republicans aren't racist, and in fact there is a significant number of minorities that are members of the center-right. The Right doesn't hate the planet - we just don't think it needs the same kind of savin' that leftists are convinced of. In fact, I recycle. . . not because I am trying to save the planet, but because I figure it won't hurt. Not all rightwingers are gun owners; when liberals don't like guns they don't want anyone to have access to them, when conservatives don't like guns, they don't buy them. Not all Republicans are Bible toting religious folk. Take my buddy Loki, for example. He's an agnostic. The Right supports women's rights, just not militant feminism. Otherwise, how would you explain the popularity of conservative women like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann? Conservatives are not a bunch of greedy bastards that wish to become rich on the backs of the poor. We believe in capitalism, the free market, and that wealth is created (rather than transferred) - meaning we desire that everyone prospers. The pie is big enough for everyone to grab a slice. We aren't homophobic, either. I really don't care what you do in your bedroom. I just don't want your beliefs regarding sexuality thrust upon me and my children through sinister tactics, or by redefining language. You know, like liberals don't want to be forced to pray or read the Bible. We hate war (just see it as necessary if we are to defend ourselves against violent ideologies). Oh, and Rush Limbaugh is not running for President.

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary