Wally Cleaver In Chaps

by JASmius

I understand the visual Rick Santorum was going for here, and the parallel he was trying to make, but, c'mon, folks, this is like Louis Skolnick signing up for a bat'leth tournament:

Dealt a resounding defeat in Illinois' presidential primary, Republican Rick Santorum brushed off the latest loss to rival Mitt Romney and told his supporters on Tuesday to "saddle up like Reagan did in the cowboy movies" and help him narrow a seemingly insurmountable deficit in delegates.

Santorum had hoped to make a real contest of Illinois, the birthplace of actor-turned-President Ronald Reagan, but he was outspent in advertising by a 7-to-1 margin by Romney and his allies and fled the state before balloting began.

"We're heading to Louisiana for the rest of the week, then we're back here in Pennsylvania and we're going to pick up a whole boatload of delegates and close this gap and then on to victory," he told a packed hotel ballroom in Gettysburg, Pa., as more than 1,000 supporters waited outside.

Yeah, Cap'n Sweatervest might pick up a "whole boatload" of delegates - if he highjacks an ocean liner. Which is kind of difficult to do if you've saddled up the coin-operated horsey ride outside the local K-Mart (if it's still in business, that is). What's the Lloyd Bentsen line? "Senator Santorum, I knew Ronald Reagan; Ronald Reagan was a friend of mine. And you, Rick Santorum, are no Ronald Reagan."

Don't believe me? Newt Gingrich as much as said the above verbatim:

Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich says Rick Santorum’s double-digit loss in the Illinois primary shows he is not the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney — and he can’t defeat President Barack Obama. The former House speaker also told Fox News’ Sean Hannity Tuesday night that he is staying in the race because he is that alternative — and he can win in November.

“Governor Romney had a pretty good day — I think he took a step toward clearly proving he was the front-runner. Senator Santorum didn’t have a particularly good day,” Gingrich said. “This is the third time now he has tried an industrial Midwestern union state and not succeeded. And I think that the conservatives have to think through the right strategy if they hope to stop Romney.

“We are faced, I think, with a very serious challenge, in terms of who can beat Barack Obama — that, in the end, is what this is all about,” he said. “So I’m staying in the race because I really do think it's a question of who can beat Barack Obama.”

You know what they say about how blind brilliant people can get at times? Winston Churchill had his India fixation, Newt Gingrich has his electability delusion. But he's right about Santorum.

I'm just glad he didn't ape RS's, cowboy metaphor. That huge gust you just heard is horses all over America heaving huge whinnies of relief.

[cross-posted @ Hard Starboard]