Biden-Ryan (or "Grandpa Got Run Over By Jack Daniels")

by JASmius

Last night, Joe Biden was a dick.

And that, of course, was precisely what Slow Joe was trying to accomplish.  After Red Barry sleepwalked through last week's contest, to the outraged chagrin of the zombie lynch mob Donk base, they wanted Biden (and Radditz) to bend Paul Ryan over the table and gang anal rape him.  They wanted to see Ryan's entrails ripped out and force-fed to him.  And (figuratively speaking) Biden (and tag-team partner moderator Martha Raddatz) did.

In other words, Biden's strategy was ***entirely defensive***.  Remember what I said a year ago: With no record or positive domestic accomplishments to defend, and Libyagate having negated their "We got bin Laden!" touchdown dancing, all Team Messiah can do is wage the dirtiest, nastiest, filthiest, most disgustingly despicably negative campaign in American political history.  When The One didn't shove an IED into Mitt's shorts, the MSNBC crowd wasn't going to settle for anything less than [ahem] blood on the walls.  Biden really had no choice.

Meanwhile, Chairman Ryan managed to assert his points through the tangle of Rogaine's (and Radditz's) incessant interruptions and boorish grandstanding, and look ten times more presidential than that senile old lush.  And the likeability numbers (which is the only measure that matters in these encounters) amply reflected it.  So for both man and clown, it was "mission accomplished".

So what does Red Barry do in next week's rematch?  Stride boldly onto the stage, steel chair in hand, bellow "I'm Spartacus!!!" and level Mitt with a chairshot?  Tingles Matthews would positively cream himself.

[cross posted @ Hard Starboard]