Or, when all else fails, try telling the truth.
Sort of:
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid revealed on Friday that the Democratic Party is in "deep trouble" in the upcoming midterm elections.
In a breathless fundraising email pitch with a subject line "deep trouble" obtained by Newsmax, Reid says: "The polls say it better than I ever could: We need you to make a contribution BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.''
True so far. Though I wouldn't wear out that frantic sales pitch before it's even Memorial Day if I was him.
He backs up his worry with new polls that show Republican candidates are neck and neck with their Democratic challengers in four key Senate races.
In North Carolina, Thom Tillis (R) and Kay Hagan (D) each have 41% of the vote; in Colorado, Cory Gardner (R) has 44% and Mark Udall (D) 45%; in Arkansas, Tom Cotton (R) has 42% and Mark Pryor (D) 43%; and in Alaska, Dan Sullivan (R) has 37% and Mark Begich (D) 42%.
Since undecided usually break roughly 2-1 for the challenger, the above translates - today - to:
Tillis (R) 53%, Hagan (D) 47%
Gardner (R) 51%, Udall (D) 49%
Cotton (R) 52%, Pryor (D) 48%
Sullivan (R) 51%, Begich (D) 49%
Also understand that there are three levels of pickups for Republicans this fall: in the bag, low-hanging fruit, and seats in reach only in tsunami years. The GOP is guaranteed to pick up open seats in West Virginia, South Dakota, and Montana. They have a significant lead over Mary Landrieu, whose trick of surviving tough races in beet-"red" Louisiana has run out, and Pryor, Hagan, and Begich join her in the low-hanging fruit group (No, this isn't becoming an underwear commercial). Finally, there's the Udall brothers - or are they cousins? I forget - in New Mexico and Colorado, neither of whom should be in jeopardy, and yet Mark in the Buff State is sucking a lot of wind, as is Al Franken in Minnesota and his party in its attempts to hold onto open seats in "blue" Michigan and "bluish-purple" Iowa.
A clean sweep is eleven seats; just the gimmies and low-hanging fruit nets the GOP seven; six is the minimum they need to take control. So Pencilneck's options are not good ones; hence the panic.
To emphasize the need for donations, Reid includes the amount of money he claims Republican strategist Karl Rove has pumped in to each race: $3.5 million in North Carolina; $2.8 million in Colorado; $1.7 million in Arizona; and $1.8 million in Arkansas.
"Karl Rove’s $10 million spending spree could put Republicans in the driver’s seat in the four states he’s targeting," Reid says.
And here comes the BS, or at least the scare-crow-ism. Those ad-buy numbers may or may not be legit, but G(R)eid's (g)readers aren't supposed to notice them; in fact, they're not even supposed to notice the horserace numbers in key races. All they're really suppose to notice is one word: ROVE. Because Democrats, in good times and bad, survive and thrive on fearmongering. Whether it's stampeding voters to the polls in good years or terrifying donors to keep them afloat in years like this one, horror is the coin of the leftwingnut realm.
It doesn't work on anybody else anymore, but within "the family"? Yeah, it probably does, and will. Will it avert the metaphorical donkey-extinction asteroid coming in a little over five months? Not a chance.
That's the GOP's job, after all.
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