Get Ready For The Washington Obamas

by JASmius



"Hail to the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE]" no longer, alas:

A federal trademark board ruled Wednesday that the Washington Redskins nickname is "disparaging of Native Americans" and that the team's trademark protections should be canceled, a decision that applies new financial and political pressure on the team to change its name.

The 2-1 ruling from the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board came in a case that has been working its way through legal channels for more than two decades. It doesn't force the team to abandon the name, but it comes at a time of increasing criticism of team owner Dan Snyder from political, religious and sports figures who say it's time for a change.

No, the 2-1 ruling from Barack Obama's Trademark Trial & Appeal Board doesn't force the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] to abandon their nickname, in the sense of ordering them to do so by executive decree or face the gulag or worse.  What it does do is financially coerce the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] to abandon their nickname by stripping them of all rights to it and their related logo, costing the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] a fortune in licensing and merchandise revenue.  So, in practical terms, yes, it does force the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] to abandon their nickname.  Kind of like their namesakes were forced to abandon all their lands east of the Santa Monica pier.

Of course, the various & sundry busybody groups pushing this foolishness could have simply organized a boycott of the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE], everything from game tickets to merchandise to TV rights to encouraging the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] to stick with Robert Griffin III at quarterback.  They could even have enlisted Magneto's help to "renovate" Fed Ex Field....



....but no, they can't keep their hair-trigger "offense"/coercion reflex under wraps and mind their own damn business, even if the vast majority of even "Original" Americans don't find the nickname [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] offensive at all, but actually honorable, complimentary, and even badass.

So [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] attorneys are (again) springing into action:

The Redskins quickly announced that they will appeal, and the cancellation for trademark protections will be on hold while the matter makes its way through the courts. That process could take years.

It was the second time the board had issued an opinion on the case. A similar ruling from 1999 was overturned on a technicality in 2003.

"We've seen this story before," Redskins attorney Bob Raskopf said. "And just like last time, today's ruling will have no effect at all on the team's ownership of and right to use the Redskins name and logo. We are confident we will prevail once again."

Unless, of course, O decides to issue an executive decree after all.  He's good at that kind of thing.

In which case, the [CENSORED BY THE WHITE HOUSE] will be forced to resort to the Wolverine Protocol.....