I thought about abbreviating that headline to "Al Sharpton Chosen Next Attorney-General" just for its pants-crapping shock value, but then I remembered that it really wouldn't have been much of a shock.
Besides, without "Revrund" Al, MSNBCCCP would immediately collapse:
Washington circles are buzzing with speculation that [extreme racist] Al Sharpton had a hand in choosing President Barack Obama's most likely nomination to be the next U.S. attorney general, New York federal prosecutor Loretta Lynch.
O nominated the coal-miner's daughter as his next reichfuhrer? But she's eighty-two years old. And white. And from a "red" state. And a hometown named "Butcher Hollow". Although she does presumably still have some sort of vagina, so I guess she had that going for her.
What's that? It's not "Lynn," but LynCH? You mean after his Seahawks contract expires, Beast Mode is going to the OTHER Washington?
No? It's not Marshawn Lynch, it's LORETTA Lynch? Who in the Sam Hill is that?
Ah. A picture, as they say, is worth a thousand speculative words, and as many press conferences. Pat "Leaky" Leahy (D-VT) and "Dirty Harry" (G)Reid (D-NV) will certainly ram through her confirmation before they have to cough up their Majority Leader and Judiciary Committee Chairman jobs, respectively, to Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Chuck Grassley (R-IA). Though the fact that Ted Cruz (R-TX), Mike Lee (R-UT), and Jeff Sessions (R-AL) will be able to drill her into the floor on cross-examination will at least provide some gallows guffaws.
The fact that Lynch has most recently been the U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York explains the Sharpton connection. If The One had consulted with California Governor Jerry Brown instead, the choice might well have been Kamala Harris. But then, Governor Brown IS white, and perhaps Michelle preferred a candidate that was less Tyra Banks and more Mrs. Butterworth.
You know - "matronly".
The Daily Caller bluntly [gushed], "An MSNBC host [another of Sharpton's scams] may have just chosen the next attorney general of the United States."
A pattern of recent meetings between the principals involved lends credence to the claim.
Sharpton met with Obama at the White House the day after the midterm Election Day, but administration officials would not confirm the meeting agenda included a discussion of who might fill the shoes of departing Attorney General Eric Holder....
The Daily Caller noted that Sharpton met with Lynch, 55, at her office in late August, along with Esaw Garner, the wife of an alleged New York Police Department brutality victim.
Okay, all of the above is genuine speculation.
But this isn't:
Last week, Lynch sat next to Holder at a Brooklyn appearance and U.S. District Judge Carol Amon said, "We all hope that the 83rd attorney general is in this room — someone who may be wearing a little orange thing," the color of Lynch's jacket, Fox News reported.
Holder visited Lynch in her New York office on October 30th, the Washington Post reported.
Subtle as a sledgehammer to the groin. But then, every Obama fait accompli fits that description, so why should Loretta Lynch be any different?
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