2015 Begins with a Puke-Fest

By Douglas V. Gibbs

As a political pundit, I figured tonight's events would make all the sense in the world if the reason behind the vomiting was the result of discussions regarding the current President of the United States, but the victims of the puke-fest are too young to care about Barack Obama, or the political world.

I welcomed the New Year alone.  My wife, and the two grandchildren at our house, were fast asleep in the bedroom.  Our son, and his wife, attended a New Year's Eve Party and had the two older children (7 and 4) with us, and the youngest (2) with the other grandparents.  We ordered pizza and wings, of which I did not partake because I have been ill with the fourth strain of flu floating around, and have been battling a chronic cough.  I ate cream of chicken soup.

After midnight, I went to bed, going into the extra room to lay down since my bed was dominated by three bodies.  Then, about a half hour into my slumber, my wife screamed my name.

Alexya was puking. . . everywhere.  Bed.  Bedroom floor.  Bathroom floor.  Her stomach, I thought, must've been completely empty by the time she finally reached the toilet.

I was wrong.

My wife went to work cleaning as I led the girl to a cot I got out for her.  Three more times over the next couple hours she would heave out the contents of her poor little tummy.

When Alexya got to the point there was nothing left, her dry heaves were followed by her brother's bout with vomiting.  Ezekiel also decided the floor was the best place to leave the contents of his stomach.  I suggested perhaps the pizza or chicken had been tainted, but my wife, who also ate the meal, was not suffering like the children.

Now, they are sleeping peacefully. . . the children, anyway.  My wife and I, awake after hours of laboring in a room wreaking of puke, are wide awake.

Perhaps they have come down with one of the other three strains of flu that has been floating around.  Perhaps they ate too much.  Perhaps it was just one of those things.

Once the kids wake up in the morning, they will be visiting a doctor, just in case.

Perhaps the medical profession will know what happened.  Perhaps not.

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary