Rating: *1/2
Written by: Anne Cofell Saunders
Directed By: Rey Villalobos
Sesha Abinell is a very disturbed woman. Her husband was killed in a raid by Cylons that shouldn't know where the Colonial fleet is, much less be in a position to attack it. Got blown right out into the vacuum of space. It's been haunting her ever since. So much that she has, you should pardon the expression, gone frakking nuts. She wants to exterminate every Cylon there is, everywhere they are.
How would this crazy lady find out the Galactica's most closely guarded secret, to wit, that they have a Cylon prisoner stashed in their brig? Because there would have been no episode otherwise. In other words, it was a plot device, and a blatant one.
Sesha leaps to the conclusion from which nothing can disabuse her that Boomer v. 2.0 is "manipulating" President Roslin and Admiral Adama to bring about humanity's final destruction. Even though she's had ample opportunities to do just that and hasn't. But I guess Sesha didn't find out, or didn't bother to notice, that part.
So she decides that two can play at that game: she will manipulate Adama into surrendering Boomer to her and her nameless accomplices for summary execution by means of which the Cylons would doubtless heartily approve: hijacking the Cloud Nine and threatening to kill every human aboard if her demand is not met.
Man; first it was Cylon sympathizers back in "Epiphanies," now it's Cylonophobes, and both ends of the spectrum are intent on killing their fellow normal human beings. Is this diaspora frakked up or what?
That's the story's jeopardy premise, such as it is. There's really not much else to add. It goes without saying that nobody important dies, and the terrorists all end up in cold storage. But there are two attempts at secondary character-oriented story tracks.
One is the "uneasy romantic triangle" of Apollo, Dualla, and Special Assistant Billy, the latter of whom hasn't been seen since "Kobol's Last Gleaming." Oh, wait, he convinced himself that he saved his "squeeze" in "Valley of Darkness," didn't he? Regardless, that should tell you how "uneasy" this "romantic triangle" has really been. C'mon, did anybody believe that that Adarian dork was going to end up bedding a hottie like Dualla? Obviously the writers didn't, or Billy wouldn't have disappeared, and Dualla wouldn’t have made a blatant play for Apollo. It's like the poor dweeb hasn't seen his "girlfriend" in months, his infatuation has galloped into the far reaches of self-delusion, and he convinces himself that the thing for him to do is show up out of the blue and…and…I know, I'll propose marriage to her! Yeah, that's the ticket! Hey, maybe we can elope! Oh, boy!! Is she going to be surprised!!!
At least I assume Billy hadn't seen Dualla in a while. When he shows up in the Cloud Nine bar (guess his fake ID worked), complete with class ring that would fit Dualla like socks on a rooster, and finds his would-be fiancée all but sitting in Apollo's lap, the expression on his face is reminiscent of Stephen King's description in The Stand of Harold Lauder when he tries to kiss Fran Goldsmith. No, Dualla doesn't giggle hysterically and Billy doesn't start shriekingly asking her "what's so frakking funny" in Donald Duck's voice, but it's still sufficiently comical that it doesn't render the Billy character the slightest bit sympathetic, and indeed quite the opposite.
It's like the class nerd thinking he had a chance with the head cheerleader and finding her going down on the starting quarterback on Lover's Lane. The difference being that Billy is supposedly not in high school anymore. You'd never know that from this mediocre hour.
I could make mention of Lee and Mrs. Tigh making a temporary escape into the men's room - which could have been even more comical - except that this time Ellen wasn't plastered, and quickly surrendered. I could also detail how Lee tried some McGyver-like ingenuity, which ultimately ended in a futile standoff that almost got Dualla an extra hole in the head. And I could tell you how Sesha tried to up the ante on Adama by threatening to blow a hole in his son. Except that Starbuck beat her to it.
This was a "WTF?!?" moment if there ever was one. The idea is hatched to sneak a sniper inside posing as a technician to fix the "problem" Apollo engineered earlier. Now it stands to reason that for such a disguise to fool the terrorists, the sniper must be {drumroll please} not easily recognizable. At least it seemed obvious to me. Equally as obvious is that it never occurred to Captain Thrace, who immediately and characteristically gloms the job for herself. Which is appallingly stupid since hers is one of the most recognizable faces in the fleet. And just to make sure that this rescue attempt couldn't possibly avoid being frakked up beyond belief, she bails on her cover before she even gets to the instrument panel thingie, whips out her gun and starts firing wildly, hitting Lee in the process. Although I will acknowledge that the slo-mo shot of the blood spurting like a geyser from his chest wound was a nifty special effect.
Somehow she gets back out of the room, and immediately plunges into emotional paralysis at the horrific results of her impulsive foolishness. And you thought she was angst-ridden last week.
Sesha, having had her primary threat pre-empted by Adama's would-be rescue squad, changes it to "I'll let your son die if you don't give me the Cylon." Heck, she didn't even taunt Adama for the debacle. I guess that's her terrorist inexperience showing. But as is always the case in hostage standoff shows, she and her accomplices can't just blow everybody away without giving up their leverage. But then since Apollo was her leverage, she could have just let everybody else go. But then if she'd done that, Billy couldn't have made a pointlessly heroic gesture to save Dualla's life at the cost of his own.
Yes, Billy is dead. Boy but those crickets are loud. I bet they must have come over to Cloud Nine from his Colonial One bedroom.
The usual Climactic Shootout [tm] came after the only half-way interesting wrinkle in the whole story.
Adama agrees to turn over Boomer, but only on the condition that he will take care of her execution - "for manipulating me," or some such. It's a motive with which Sesha can't very well argue, and the Cylon will be dead like she wanted, so she acquiesces.
If you were thinking the old "pass off the corpse of Boomer v. 1.0 for Boomer v. 2.0," go to the head of the class. Oh, it wouldn't pass any kind of scrutiny for very long, and it didn't, but the point was to get troops in there to take down the terrorists and save the hostages. Which, for the most part, worked, other than that Billy got sent straight to spaz hell. Not that anybody will miss him. Particularly Dualla, if next week's promos are any indication.
Well, okay, I guess President Roslin will miss him, in the way that a middle-aged woman would miss the "good boy" son she never had. The thing is, there just isn't all that big a demand for "good boys." Must be why they never get laid.
I guess Billy won't be missing anything, either.
Next: Apollo's career takes a meteoric turn.
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