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Monday, August 03, 2015

Machine Gun Bacon

by JASmius



Ted Cruz is a passionately patriotic constitutional conservative, a mediocre senator, and a lackluster presidential candidate.  Sometimes he has me pumping my fist, and other times he makes me want to slap him repeatedly.

But you can't dislike anybody who mixes guns and bacon.  Or ANYTHING and bacon, really.  Or just bacon by itself.  Because, you know, BACON:

Texas Senator Ted Cruz, a Republican presidential candidate, on Monday released a new video where he shows off a method for cooking bacon with a machine gun.

“Few things I enjoy more than on weekends cooking breakfast with the family. Of course in Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks,” Cruz says in a new video from IJ Review.

Cruz then takes up a machine gun with a strip of bacon wrapped around its nozzle. After firing off several rounds, the senator picks a piece of sizzling meat off the end and eats it approvingly.

I still don't support him, I still won't vote for him, I still think he's the antithesis of leadership, and he's still constitutionally ineligible for the presidency.  But this bacon vid ought to get Senator Cruz into the top ten for Thursday's debate at least.

Watch the vid and tell me I'm wrong.



What was that?  I couldn't hear you over the saliva roar.

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