I Dream of Obama

By Douglas V. Gibbs

Perhaps not in the manner of "I Dream of Genie," but yes, last night I had an interesting dream about President Barack Obama (No, it wasn't a nightmare), and I thought I would share it with you.

I was at some kind of event, though I am not sure where the characters in the dream would all be willing to be in the same place at the same time, and I was talking to two military combat veterans who were a bit older than me - so it would be safe to assume they were probably Vietnam Vets.  For the most part we agreed politically, but the best part of the conversation was when these two men, one Army, the other United States Marine Corps, discussed their time in the jungles of Vietnam.  I learned from them, and appreciated their efforts as warriors.

In my peripheral vision I could see Obama working the crowd, and he was heading in my direction.  As he walked up, he said, "Good evening, gentlemen."  He stretched out his hand to shake each of ours, and one by one we withdrew our hands refusing to take his.

The confused look on his face telegraphed what he was thinking, which was probably along the line of "Hey, what's the problem here?  Don't they want to shake the hand of history?  You are missing out on taking the hand of a god!"

"Sorry, Mr. Obama," I said.  "We are staunch supporters of the United States Constitution, and the principles of limited government it stands for, and we can't bring ourselves to shake the hand of the man who has spit upon that document with the full intention of fundamentally transforming this nation away from those principles."

The index finger of Obama's left hand sprang into action, and as he pointed to the sky he said, "I'm a constitutional lawyer.  I am full-aware of what I can and can't do regarding the Constitution."

"Apparently, you are not," I replied.  "Besides, what you lectured on at the University of Chicago was how to use the 14th Amendment to create racial division."

"Name one thing I have done that is unconstitutional," he dared.

"I can name many," came my reply.  "But, let's start with Obamacare."

"Uh, that's the Affordable Care Act."

"Yeah, you keep believing that.  There is nothing affordable about it.  I lost my insurance because I couldn't afford it anymore, and the only reason the federal government is not fining me through the IRS because of the mandate is because I have healthcare through the Veteran's Administration."

"Well, there you go.  You have great, reliable, affordable healthcare through the VA."

I shook my head.  "You might think so, but, no.  Let me tell you about a day with the VA."

Surprisingly, the President of the United States kept eye contact with me, and seemed genuinely interested.

"First of all, don't get me wrong.  The doctors are great.  It's the bureaucracy that is the problem.  When I arrive for an appointment at my VA office, it fist takes going through three administrators to get to my doctor.  I usually arrive early, and about an hour or so after my appointment time my vitals are checked by a nurse.  An hour or two later, I will be called to see my doctor.  By this time, it is past lunchtime.  I haven't eaten, but I can't because my name might get called.  Then, there's the prescription part, which used to be worse, I admit.  Now, you can wait for our medications in the mail rather than than wait half the day at the office to get your medicine the day you are there so that you can take it when you need it.  After all of that, I usually need to stay for blood work and other minor items.  So, after arriving at 8:00 am, it's pretty normal I am out of there by 5:00 pm.  Understand, I am a disabled veteran, and that's the awesome care I get for serving this great nation."

"But," inserted Obama, "it's getting better, right?"

"For a few.  You see, from neglect they die, and then they don't have to go through the torture anymore.  I am figuring in Heaven the care is a bit better."

"But," inserted Obama again, "you have the Affordable Care Act.  See your doctor locally."

I shook my head.  "Didn't you hear me earlier?  I can't afford it.  Because of Obamacare, my rates went up, and so I couldn't keep the doctor I like.  Heck, I can't even go to any doctor locally.  Your plans are costly monthly, and even more so at the doctor's office."

As a side note, a friend of mine has Obamacare.  This morning he showed me a few of his bills for a medical situation that came up recently regarding his wife.  After the Obamacare insurance paid its part, he owed over two thousand for the ambulance service, and a couple thousand to the hospital - for care given to his wife after her arm was shredded to bits by a feral cat.  Here's the kicker.  She didn't use the ambulance.  The ambulance arrived, and the personnel patched her up a little, but he (my friend) drove his wife to the hospital.  He suggested to his wife that she not change clothes.  Wrapped in bloody garments, he figured she'd be seen sooner than if she came in with her clothes all clean and fresh.  After all, there is usually a massive crowd waiting to be treated.

He was right.  They were seen immediately - and now owe over four thousand to the ambulance company and the hospital for their use of the services. . . after the Affordable Care Act paid its part.  Hell, my HMO did better than that.  And I bet if there were no insurance companies, nor government intervention, and it was all about the patient/provider relationship, the prices would not have even come close to what they wound up being.

Okay, back to the dream.

"And that," I said, "doesn't even say anything about the Executive Orders."

"What are you talking about?" said Obama.  "Every President has used Executive Orders, and many of them wrote more than I."

"This is true.  But the number never hit the triple digits until progressive presidents began using them.  In your case, many of them are memos or letters, so they don't even get numbered.  So, the total you tout is not accurate.  Besides, if other presidents have issued Executive Orders, or if other presidents have issued more, is not the point.  The point is Article I, Section 1 of the United States Constitution.  It says that all legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress.  In other words, all legislative powers, which includes the power to make law, modify law, and repeal law, is only the authority of the legislative branch.  Yet, you have written many Executive Orders (and memos, letters and actions) that have created law, or modified law.  A number of times you used Executive Orders regarding the Obamacare law, delaying when certain provisions go into effect, mostly.  Those are all unconstitutional."

"Well," Obama said, "if I didn't take action, nothing would get done."

"Nothing," I replied, is supposed to be done in the case of most of your actions.  The federal government was created to handle external issues like common defense, trade with other nations, and securing the border.  The only internal issues are things like the post office, or disputes between the States.  Otherwise, nothing internal is the authorized business of the United States Government."

"You sound like those right-wing extremist Tea Party members of our broken Congress."

"If Congress is refusing to do your big-government bidding, it's not broken.  It's working just fine."

Suddenly, Barack Obama's face began to contort with his eyes bugging out and his tongue lashing around like Arnold Schwarzenegger's did when he was exposed to the Martian atmosphere in the movie Total Recall.  His head began to swell, getting larger and larger.  The swelling then invaded Obama's body.  His torso and arms and legs began to look like those balloons clowns bend into animals.  This his fingers began to swell, and his feet, until finally Obama popped like a balloon, and became a puff of smoke.  But, before the smoke could dissipate, Hillary Clinton's face appeared in the smoke, laughing hysterically like the green wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz. . . before suddenly launching into barking like a dog.

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary