Auto-Correct on my Phone...

Douglas V. Gibbs
Author, Speaker, Instructor, Radio Host

I hate how my phone thinks it knows more about what I am trying to say than I do...

● Here are some of its malfunctions:

I said "Constitution," it typed "Prostitution".  That said, the "Free Prostitution Class" post on my Facebook is still the most commented post I've ever had on the social media platform.

I said "Vacations" and it typed "Gay Cautions".

I said "I am getting water and Pringles" and it typed "I am getting hotter and pregnant".

I said "$5,000 for" and it typed "5000 hollow tour".

I said "As a result" and it typed "and an assault."

I said "I bought some Breezers cough drops and they kick ass" and it typed "I bought some resource cough drops and nosing coated my sick ass."

I said "I love you my dear wife" and it typed "I love you my dead wife".

I said "Gatorade for your drinking pleasure" and it typed "Gatorade for your dinking project."

I said "mandates are unconstitutional" and it typed "mandates are in constitutional".

I said "Montana pastor got sued for preaching transgenderism and homosexuality is a sin" and it typed "Mountain pastor got booed for teaching transgenderism and homosexuality being a sin".

I said "standing against abortion and the sin of killing babies" and it typed "Is standing against abortion the sign of killing babies".

I said "medicine is being politicized by the hard left movement" and it typed "Missed tin is being politicized by the hard left moment".

I said "she has the cutest little dimples" and it typed "she has the cutest little nipples".

I said "not a fan of gangster rap" and it typed "Is not a fan of hamster wrap".

I said "I will be right back" and it typed "I will be light black".

I said "Kiss Kiss I'll see ya later" and it typed "Kill kill I'll see elevator".

They asked "What color was it" and I said "Pink and Red" and it typed "Period red".

I said "I can't wait for that day" and it typed "I quake for that gay".

I said "That's funny, you definitely have a point there" and it typed "That's funny, you definitely have a joint there".

I said "He followed me there" and it typed "He plowed me bare".

I said "I'm not far from you" and it typed "I'm not fatter for you".

I said "Might as well meet me tomorrow" and it typed "might as well milk me tomorrow".

I said "President Biden" and it typed "Resident Bye Then".

...And why does it like to add the word "Is" in front of everything?

-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary