The Islamic State is overrunning the Levant and infiltrating Europe. The Iranian mullahgarchy is building a bigger nuclear arsenal than our own. Vladimir Putin is expanding his already superior "strategic rocket forces" and moving inexorably and openly westward. Red China has effectively annexed the entire South China Sea and is building a navy bigger than our own with which to dominate the Pacific Ocean.
And what mission does President Divot Storm have for the late, great "most powerful military machine on Earth"?
Counting ice cubes.
Seriously:
The Obama administration has charged the Pentagon with the task of measuring shrinking Arctic ice.
In addition to its role in [not] fighting threats around the world such as the Islamic State terror group, the military will now monitor "the changing Arctic conditions," according to a recent report from the Government Accountability [hyuk] Office (GAO), which looked at work the Defense Department (DOD) is doing in the Arctic.
Changing ice levels could mean an even greater military presence in the Arctic, the administration says, which is why committing time and resources to closely watching the possible effects of climate change there is needed.
"Decreasing seasonal sea ice in the Arctic has made some Arctic waters navigable for longer periods and, as a result, may contribute to new economic opportunities in commercial shipping, oil exploration, and tourism," the study says. "This could eventually increase the need for a U.S. military and homeland security presence in the Arctic, particularly in the maritime environment."
I really, really wish I could believe that this "climate change" horse manure was a cover for an attempt to block Vladimir Putin's expansion into the Arctic to glom its vast energy resources, but I am condemned and doomed to know better. BeelzeBarry is sending his Lavender Legions on a forced march to the Great White North to arrest Emma Frost for scraping off some of the polar ice cap for Sebastian Shaw's drink. The same polar ice cap that is growing, not shrinking, just like its Antarctic counterpart, on a planet that is cooling, not warming, as part of a natural, solar-driven cycle.
At least, that's what all the actual evidence indicates, when it's not fraudulently cherry-picked and fabricated to conform to the greenstremists' false Narrative.
But what could the military do about melting polar ice cap if they were happening? Call in Captain Cold....
....Mr. Freeze....
....or Bobby Drake?
No, folks, this is to keep whatever threadbare, woebegone fragments of what used to be the most powerful military machine on the planet busy chasing icebergs and giving acting lessons to polar bears for more Coke commercials and out of the way of our enemies so that they can conquer the planet, and us, unimpeded.
A very....cold plan, indeed.
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