By Douglas V. Gibbs
Last February President Barack Obama made it loud and clear that he was not hip with this space program stuff, unless of course it could be used to save the world from Hollywood-proportion catastrophes. In other words, Obama scrapped the plans for a 2020 return to the moon, canceled the Aries Rocket program that would get us there, and then decided NASA would monitor global warming. Then, a little bit later, he let the cat out of the bag that saving the planet from mythical man-made Climate Change was not enough to make him look like Bruce Willis, or Denzel, or whoever it is he is trying to emulate. To save the world from more catastrophe, because global warming isn't enough to worry about, he also decided to take on the lofty goal of visiting an asteroid by 2025. Sure, it may take 15 years to complete this daunting mission, but Mr. Obama would definitely go down in mythology, I mean history, as the man that was willing to carry the ultimate safety of the planet on his shoulders. You see, by visiting the asteroid, we will learn how to purposely move an asteroid, to nudge the space rock to change its trajectory. Such a feat, Obama has said, would show that humanity could deflect a space rock if one threatened to crash into the planet.
Bravo, bravo, you are such a hero oh mighty Obamanation.
Besides, with all this spending he has been doing, changing NASA's missions will probably save a few bucks, and at the rate these cockroaches are spending money, any cut into the funding of important stuff will help. After all, we wouldn't dare reduce the spending on programs that keep leaches afloat, or keep food stamp recipients from gambling in casinos and getting lap dances at local cabarets.
Ooops, sorry, that's a California thing.
Well, the whole sha-bang isn't written in stone, yet. Remember, President "Lotsa Talk and No Action" teleprompters a good game, but all he is really good at is golfing, reading other people's speeches, and organizing Marxist wannabes to destroy the American form of government.
Ahh, but the great Obama isn't done yet! He has more rabbits, or maybe flying donkeys, to pull out of his magical hat of tricks!
Get this, NASA has yet another new mission, but this one will really make you scratch your head. The White House is directing NASA to (drum roll please). . . improve relations with the Muslim world.
Uh, are there terrorists in space?
No, no, no. It seems that NASA is our latest tool in diplomatic diplomacy.
Among the top tasks assigned to NASA by none other than Barry Obama himself is better interaction with the Muslim world so that we can ultimately advance space travel. NASA is to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science.
Maybe all that help will help them make sharper swords for Jihad.
NASA's lead administrator was in the Middle East last month marking the one-year anniversary since Obama delivered an address to Muslim nations in Cairo. In an interview with Al Jazeera, he described space travel as an international collaboration of which Muslim nations must be a part.
Ahhhh, I see. Let's let them learn how to launch suicide bombing satellites!
Hey, can camels survive in space?
Then, since Obama doesn't want the United States to be exceptional, or the leader in anything, NASA's Administrator Charles Bolden said the United States is not going to travel beyond low-Earth orbit on its own and that no country is going to make it to Mars without international help.
It turns out our president is Rodney King.
Can't we all just get along?
So the way to boldly go where no one has gone before is to completely befuddle science, and turn it into a political opportunity. Why else would Obama cancel the agency's Constellation program, which was building new rockets and spaceships capable of returning astronauts to the moon, and instead demand that NASA fix mythical man-made global warming, and create international cooperation with Islam, an ideology that could care less about working with us, unless of course we are all dead?
-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary
NASA: Obama's Problem With The Space Program - Political Pistachio
NASA to undertake new mission to study arctic climate change - Headliner Watch
NASA's New Asteroid Mission Could Save the Planet - Space Frontier Foundation
NASA Chief: Next Frontier Better Relations With Muslim World - Fox News
Then, since Obama doesn't want the United States to be exceptional, or the leader in anything, NASA's Administrator Charles Bolden said the United States is not going to travel beyond low-Earth orbit on its own and that no country is going to make it to Mars without international help.
It turns out our president is Rodney King.
Can't we all just get along?
So the way to boldly go where no one has gone before is to completely befuddle science, and turn it into a political opportunity. Why else would Obama cancel the agency's Constellation program, which was building new rockets and spaceships capable of returning astronauts to the moon, and instead demand that NASA fix mythical man-made global warming, and create international cooperation with Islam, an ideology that could care less about working with us, unless of course we are all dead?
-- Political Pistachio Conservative News and Commentary
NASA: Obama's Problem With The Space Program - Political Pistachio
NASA to undertake new mission to study arctic climate change - Headliner Watch
NASA's New Asteroid Mission Could Save the Planet - Space Frontier Foundation
NASA Chief: Next Frontier Better Relations With Muslim World - Fox News
The American Dream, Welfare, and Personal Responsibility - Political Pistachio
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