I don't actually watch Duck Dynasty - probably because I don't yet have grandchildren - but I certainly know of it, and of its theologically correct proclivities. So it comes as no great shock to me to read that the actor who plays the program's lead character has been suspended by the A&E network for relaying God's "stance" on homosexuality. In point of fact, the wonder is that they waited so long to do it, or even aired DD at all:
"We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson's comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series 'Duck Dynasty'," the network said in a statement.
"His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely."
Translation: A&E is far more terrified of the Lavender Lobby than they are the Christian community.
Earlier Wednesday, Roberston had responded to critics who had slammed him for very graphic statementshe made about his preference for heterosexual sex over homosexual sex.
Um, no, Fox Entertainment, it's not his preference; it's God's command. Just so we get that straight.
“I myself am a product of the '60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior,” he said in a statement sent to FOX411.
“My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together.
"However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”
No, Phil, you still don't get it. Remember your Sun Tzu: Know your enemy. To the sexually retrograde mind, your refusal to endorse and participate in homosexuality IS disrespecting it. You must acknowledge Cornholio as LORD; if you don't, then Fek'lhr take you.
So what despicably incendiary rhetorical phosphorus did Mr. Robertson rain on the LGBT conga line of love? The absolute worst in the "fundie" arsenal - Scripture itself:
In a wide-ranging interview with GQ
“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong... Sin becomes fine,” he said. “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.”
Paraphrasing [1] Corinthians [6:9-11] he added: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”
Phil, Phil, Phil. Once again, you forget yourself. We no longer live in Mayberry, RFD; we live in New Sodom & New Gomorrah (aka Mileyville). And this version of S&G comes with mandatory pagan instruction in biblical hermeneutics:
The gay and lesbian rights group GLAAD was quick to criticize Robertson for his comments and called on A&E to take action.
"Phil and his family claim to be Christian, but Phil's lies about an entire community fly in the face of what true Christians believe," said GLAAD rep Wilson Cruz. "He clearly knows nothing about gay people or the majority of Louisianans – and Americans - who support legal recognition for loving and committed gay and lesbian couples. Phil's decision to push vile and extreme stereotypes is a stain on A&E and his sponsors who now need to reexamine their ties to someone with such public disdain for LGBT people and families."
See, Phil? All you have to do is buy a pallet of Crisco and get with the program, and all your problems will be solved.
Yet, strangely enough, he doesn't see it that way:
“For the sake of the Gospel, it was worth it… All you have to do is look at any society where there is no Jesus. I’ll give you four: Nazis, no Jesus. Look at their record. Uh, Shintos? They started this thing in Pearl Harbor. Any Jesus among them? None. Communists? None. Islamists? Zero. That’s 80 years of ideologies that have popped up where no Jesus was allowed among those four groups. Just look at the records as far as murder goes among those four groups.”
Look at that, Wilson! Now he's calling you "loving and committed couples" Nazis, pinkos, ragheads, and, uh, Shintos. Firing his 'thumper ass isn't enough, right? How about lynching? No, wait, how about gang anal rape of him and his entire family, THEN lynching? Stop, here's an even better idea - how about impaling them all on poles (inserted rectally, of course), then dipping them in pitch, then igniting them as patio lamps for your next orgy? That'd be a waaaaay better reality program than Duck Dynasty ever was! Right, A&E? You could even invite Miley Cyrus and her wrecking ball to chop them all down once they were expended.
What? You already thought of that, Wilson? My apologies, didn't mean to infringe on your gimmick. Mind if I let Mr. Robertson know you're coming? I understand he prefers moving targets to stationary ones.
There is a petition to get Phil Robertson reinstated as head quacker. The page includes these details on freedom of speech:
Concepts of freedom of speech can be found in early human rights documents.[3] England’s Bill of Rights 1689 granted 'freedom of speech in Parliament' and is still in effect. The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen, adopted during the French Revolution in 1789, specifically affirmed freedom of speech as an inalienable right.[4] The Declaration provides for freedom of expression in Article 11, which states that:
"The free communication of ideas and opinions is one of the most precious of the rights of man. Every citizen may, accordingly, speak, write, and print with freedom, but shall be responsible for such abuses of this freedom as shall be defined by law."[5]Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted in 1948, states that:
"Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers."[6]Today freedom of speech, or the freedom of expression, is recognized in international and regional human rights law. The right is enshrined in Article 19 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights, Article 13 of the American Convention on Human Rights and Article 9 of the African Charter on Human and Peoples' Rights.[7] Based on John Milton's arguments, freedom of speech is understood as a multi-faceted right that includes not only the right to express, or disseminate, information and ideas, but three further distinct aspects:
International, regional and national standards also recognize that freedom of speech, as the freedom of expression, includes any medium, be it orally, in written, in print, through the Internet or through art forms. This means that the protection of freedom of speech as a right includes not only the content, but also the means of expression.[7
- the right to seek information and ideas;
- the right to receive information and ideas;
- the right to impart information and ideas
Problem is, every last one of those bills, declarations, articles, laws, and covenants has been amended with three additional words: "Except for Christians". I guess Mr. Robertson didn't get that memo.
But you'll be able to find us; we'll be in that pile of crispy critters over yonder, or coming in the clouds behind the real Duck Commander, Whom you will have blasphemed for the last time.
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