Nerf bullets, by contrast, are even more innocuously harmless, and in no conceivable or rational way can be determined to transgress the following Uptown (New Jersey) Complex School regulation:
Anything readily capable of lethal use or inflicting serious bodily injury” is prohibited.
Nerf. Soft, foam rubber. Shoot them out of a cannon and they disintegrate. Not exactly armor-piercing rounds. Which is probably why those Texas biker gangs decided against loading up on Nerf ammo last weekend.
Nevertheless, young Aarin Moody is now sitting on death row, or as close as school officials can get him to it:
New Jersey fifth-grader Aarin Moody got a lesson in his school’s zero tolerance policy after being suspended all of last week for bringing a foam Nerf gun bullet to school, according to his mom.
The Atlantic City boy was reaching for a note from his mom when the spongy projectile fell out of his pocket, alarming a faculty member at the Uptown Complex School on May 8th, said his mother, Michelle Moody.……
A "spongy projectile" alarmed this nutter. Imagine if a Gideon Bible had fallen out of young Mr. Moody's other pocket. The "faculty member" may have run shrieking down the hallway in pell-mell terror, and nobody would ever have seen the lad again.
Officials at Uptown Complex categorized that foam dart as a “self-constructed weapon” because it had a toothpick stuck in it, the distraught mother said..……
Because terrorists always employ toothpick-augmented "spongy projectiles" over, you know, AK-47s, car bombs, and suitcase nukes.
Aarin said that he places the toothpick in the foam bullets so they would stick to the ground when he fired them from his Nerf gun and that he accidentally brought it to school. “They want me to like say that I did it on purpose, I put it in my pocket to hurt someone,” he told one local paper.
Here is a picture of Aarin Moody:
Can the educrats at Uptown Complex School not be described as racist for making such a silly assumption? The kid doesn't exactly have Crips and Bloods written all over him.
According to the school’s weapons policy, “Anything readily capable of lethal use or inflicting serious bodily injury” is prohibited on campus.……
Officials at the Atlantic City School District, who did not return requests for comment, originally told Moody that her son would be expelled, but eventually agreed to a five-day, in-school suspension and a notation on his permanent record stating that he brought a makeshift weapon to school.
There is the "letter of the law" and the "spirit of the law". Mr. Moody's "improvised weapon" doesn't even meet the former threshold, much less the latter. It's akin to Ralphie Parker's plight in A Christmas Story....
....except a bb gun really can put an eye out, even if it's unlikely.
But a Nerf bullet? Is that what has Camden, New Jersey, going up in flames? We wish.
UPDATE: Et, tu, Boy Scouts?:
The Boy Scouts of America is cracking down on squirt gun fights among its ranks.
Water guns are apparently such a problem that the youth organization, which is modeled after the military, penned a blog post entitled "Water guns OK for target shooting, not for firing at other Scouts" earlier this month to remind its members of the ban.
In the post, Eagle Scout Bryan Wendell explains that the rule is in place because aiming a firearm — even an aquatic one — at another person is unkind, making it a breach of one of the twelve adjectives scouts are compelled to memorize as part of the Scout Law.
Okay, this is just incoherent. Aiming a loaded Smith & Wesson at another person who isn't trying to kill you is unkind; aiming a water pistol at another person on a hot summer day is what the damn thing is for. It's not a water cannon, it's not a fire hose, it's a water pistol. It's retarded. How is this going to indoctrinate scouts to be good little gun confiscators and Second Amendment loathers when they grow up? Especially when water balloons, whose closest ordnance analogy is hand grenades, are still a-okay with the BSA, as long as they're biodegradable and limited to ping-pong-ball size, which I don't even think is possible, as anybody who's ever filled a balloon with a garden hose could attest.
The punchline to this farce? Boy Scouts are trained in firearm use and safety. Everything from bb guns to shotguns to .22 rifles. Does the BSA really think their charges are going to confuse that with Super Soakers? Or are they admitting they're that crappy at teaching gun safety?
Next logical step: Cub Scout den masters amputating all boys' hands because, after all, they might pantomime gun play with them.
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